


Curse

by silentGambler



Category: DOGS (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Gen, Heine forgets, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentGambler/pseuds/silentGambler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haine keeps forgetting and Badou becomes more and more worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sallyhowlett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyhowlett/gifts).



> My first work for this fandom. I just finished catching up and I was stuck with this idea, so... here I am. I hope you like it!

It began innocently enough. He would forget little things, like where he left his boots, whether he had ate anything already or when he was supposed to meet Badou for one of their jobs. No one thought much of it; after all, Haine may have been a modified super-human physically speaking, but they all knew he was not at his best when it came to his memory. It wasn't until he began spacing out suddenly, sometimes glaring at his surroundings as if trying to find some answer, that anyone noticed something was off. 

The first one to notice was Badou. Of course it would be him, he spent most of his time with the albino, he was bound to notice something odd. The stubborn dog kept fighting the redhead over that, insisting that he was fine and that no, he had no fucking idea what in hell he was talking about. And of course Badou didn't believe a single word he spew, because he knew Haine well enough to know that he wouldn't accept it.

One day he found Haine frozen in the middle of the church, red eyes wide and wild that made him look very much like a caged animal. The redhead stopped abruptly when their eyes met, making him scramble for something to do. The albino beat him to it, closing the distance between them quickly and grabbing Badou by the arm to drag him behind one of the columns. -You goddamned bastard, are you stupid?- he hissed, angry red eyes glaring at the smoker. -They will find us if you just barge in like that, fucking eye-patch. You don't even have your guns on you?-

Badou is about to snap back angrily but Haine blinks and stares confused at the taller male. -What the fuck are you doing?- he asks with no hint of amusement, as if he didn't just drag the redheaded informant to hide behind a column. 

-I should be asking you that, you fucking idiot. What was that just now?- 

Haine frowns at him and stays silent, his glare only wavering slightly as he struggles to make sense of the question. -What do you mean?- That's the moment when Badou knows that whatever it is that is making the dog act this way has become a serious problem. 

They don't mention the incident to anyone else, but they don't have to. The bishop, Naoto, Nill, even Mihai start noticing Haine is not right. He keeps forgetting, not only small things anymore either. He forgets that Nill is gone with Miss Lisa for the day and spend a whole hour frantically looking for her before Badou grabs him and yells at him. He forgets they have work to do and either Naoto or Bishop had to remind him of it when the redhead is not around. His memory is slipping and not even Ernest knows what to do. 

Haine keeps forgetting and Badou keeps growing worried in silence, because he just knows it's a matter of time before the albino forgets someone instead of something. He dreads the day Haine looks at him and frowns confused, as if he's come across a stranger. He fears the moment when the white-haired dog opens his mouth and utters those words that will break him more than he'll admit. 

"Who are you?"

He tells himself that he's being paranoid, that he has no way of telling how much Haine's memory is affected. But he also knows that is a lie; he knows very well that he's getting worse, slowly but surely, and that he was bound to get to the point where he simply wouldn't be able to tell who they were. So the redhead does something that Haine keeps calling idiotic; he gives him his checkered bracelet and yells at him that he better not lose it. Says it will help him remember important things. The albino rolls his eyes and growls something about not needing it, sneering at his partner. 

Badou just glares at him and silently hopes that is true.

Haine doesn't get worse for a long time, lulling them all into a false sense of confidence. The redhead is almost tempted to say he may be getting better, but prefers not to get his hopes too high. The albino still lets his memory slip every now and then, so there is really nothing that indicates any recovery. All that Badou can hope for is that things go back to normal, or as normal as they may be even with a forgetful dog. 

His instincts tell him it will only go downhill from there and he curses and wishes that, for once, his guts are wrong. He's never considered himself someone hopeful, quite the contrary. Which is why he finds himself looking at Haine intently wondering how much they have left, how long before he forgets. 

Months pass and the quick pace of the underground makes them focus on other things, pushing Haine's broken memories to the back of their minds. Of course Badou silently looks for a sign, any sign, that the albino has slipped further but nothing is there. Nothing he can see at least. Sometimes his partner disappears for whole weeks, only to come back to their work unfazed. It's always been like that but every time he wanders off now Badou is left with the uneasy feeling that one day he'll come back and he won't be Haine anymore.

It's almost half a year when it happens, and honestly, the redhead is surprised it lasted this long. He's on his way to the church, to check if Haine is still gone. It's Nill who tries to warn him as he steps into the building, but Badou can't make anything out of the frantic little gestures the small girl is making. He frowns and takes the cigarette from between his lips to ask what's wrong, but as soon as he lays a hand on top of Nill's head, two clicks are heard from behind him. 

-You better watch where you're putting those hands or I'll make sure they stay off permanently.- Haine's voice growls, voice low and dangerous. It's been very long since he has spoken like that to Badou, not ever since they began working together, and the unfamiliar sound makes the redhead come to a halt, cigarette falling to the ground in midst of his shock.

He should have expected to be the first to be forgotten. He should have expected the stinging pain in his chest as he steps back to look at the albino, catching his angry glare, guns still pointing at him. There is no vague hints of amusement in his face like when they bicker and fight, only a cold scowl that dissolves any doubt Badou could have. The Dog has forgotten him and his checkered bracelet still rests around his pale wrist as if mocking him. 

-Haine...- he manages to call his name, watching in both fascination and despair as the white-haired man tenses and grips his guns more tightly. Haine's face is twisting into a grimace, as if he's struggling to remember something that just won't come to him. 

-Who are you?- he snaps, face contorted in pain. Badou winces too at the harsh tone, at the confused and angry glare the albino has fixed on him. He raises both hands slowly, turning to face Haine to show him he means no harm at all. The pale man doesn't lower the weapons nor seems to recognize him at all, but he doesn't shoot. Yet, at least. 

Badou decides to try and press his luck like always. -C'mon Haine, stop it.- the redhead calls, slightly proud that his voice hasn't cracked despite how tight his throat feels. -You don't want to fucking fight with Nill here, do you? So stop it already, asshole.- He wishes he could light another cigarette because the nerves are killing him, but he'd be risking being pumped full of lead so he just clears his throat and glances at his side. Nill is rooted to her spot, her hands twisting the skirts of her dress. She's frightened too, she knows this is not their Haine right now and she obeys immediately when Badou tells her to look for Bishop and be careful. The white-haired man lets her go; he knows it's better if she's not in the room when hell breaks loose. 

As soon as she has closed the door behind her, Haine's attention snaps back to the informant. -I asked who the fuck are you!- He barks at Badou, baring his teeth. His hands are shaking slightly and his knuckles are white but he still refuses to lower his pistols. His partner eyes him carefully, stepping towards him slowly. The redhead is reminded of someone who's dealing with a wild animal once again and he most certainly would be laughing if Haine wasn't still watching him with narrowed eyes, ready to attack at any given moment. Badou approaches him cautiously, taking advantage of the fact that the dog seems to be in conflict with himself at the moment. 

-Hey... it's okay. It's okay.- The redhead is trying hard to make his voice soothing as he takes hold of the albino's forearms, but Haine can see the way his eye darts from the the guns now digging into his chest and back to his red eyes. He's doesn't look afraid, but rather wary of the weapons. Badou smiles a bit and the Dog feels something familiar about the gesture but it's not enough to dismiss the threat. Haine doesn't know this person, he can't remember him no matter how hard he tries, but the stranger knows his name and most likely knows him too. The voice in his head is screaming at him for letting that guy, whoever he is, get this close already and demands that something is done.

-Fuck off.- 

Badou ignores the snarl his partner gives and shakes him instead. -Stop being a fucking idiot and put the fucking guns down! I'm trying to help you!- he yells back. Haine is slightly taken back by this, but Kerberos won't leave him alone and he's whispering in his ear, ordering him to attack before the redhead does. He can't quite feel his fingers anymore, he's gripping the pistols so hard, but he can vaguely tell they're tightening over the triggers, ready to pull them. The redhead is too busy shouting at him that he doesn't notice this slight change of position in his hands. Suddenly the albino feels a pang of worry over the stranger and a strange urge overwhelms him. A need to warn him, to push him away, to scream at him to go take cover before the monster inside him gets out.

But said monster is holding him back and he only manages to growl at whatever the redhead is yelling and shaking him for. He keeps repeating his name, over and over -Haine please, Haine, goddammit Haine- while Kerberos roars now. The headache makes everything around confusing, he blames both fuckers screaming in his head. He can't hear a word of what the redhead is saying but he does hear Kerberos and the promise of violence makes Haine's blood run cold for the first time in a very long time. He tries to stop him but the Dog took control before he could object. So he fights as much as he can for seconds of control and pushes the stranger away harshly.

The albino prays that this guy will understand his silent message and get cover like Nill, but instead he is tumbling backwards and reaching for something inside his coat. It is then that Haine feels his stomach twist with some strange anxious feeling as the redhead pulls out his own guns just as Kerberos pulls the trigger. He's not going to make it, he's seen him freeze and fall to the ground, managing to shoot. Everything moves both too fast and too slow, he can almost see the exact moment when the bullets hit their mark. He feels the searing pain of metal plunging into his leg and grazing his shoulder, but he knows it's nothing compared to the redhead. Haine -or rather, Kerberos- shot him right in the middle of the chest and if he by some luck missed his heart, he has surely hit his lungs or spine. He watches as the redhead hits the stone floor and twists his body in pain. The dog is grabbing his head now, once again trying furiously to remember why he feels so angry at Kerberos, why is he suddenly afraid of the damage he has done. He shuts his eyes tightly and grits his teeth but he can't place a memory on the smoker. Haine turns back his attention to his surroundings when a pained grunt and coughing comes from the wounded man and his eyes shot open only to fix themselves on a checkered bracelet wrapped around his wrist. 

It's almost as if it all comes crashing down on him. It's not a stranger, but his partner. His redheaded, smoking, idiotic partner Badou who is now lying fatally wounded at his feet. Badou, who knew Haine would forget and who still tried to bring him back. Badou who was dying because of him. He drops to his knees and pulls the redhead to him, breathing harshly just like Badou. As if both had been shot and both actually felt the pain. A green eye is staring up at the dog and a pained grin manages to make its way to the smoker's lips. 

-It worked.- He coughs and blood is spilling from his lips, making Haine grasp him tighter, as if he could somehow stop Badou from bleeding just by holding him. -I knew it. And you said it was stupid.- A weak laugh that sounds more like a gurgle and the redhead clutches at Haine's hand with as much strength he can manage. 

-Badou...-

-I'm not going to be ok, you're one fucking hell of a shooter... but you remembered me. So... it's at least a bit ok...- Again that gurgling excuse of a laugh and then Badou goes very still.

Haine howls. He howls like the wounded dog he is, arms tight around the limp body of his partner. In the back of his mind the whole scene reminds him of another time he held someone like this and the throb in his chest feels even worse. He's not an idiot, he knows Badou is dead and there's no way to bring him back. He won't heal like Haine does. The albino doesn't even register he's still screaming until his lungs demand air and he stops abruptly. He sucks in air, trying to calm down, but everything around him smells of cigarette smoke, gunpowder and blood. It smells just like Badou, but it's all wrong and it sickens Haine. It makes him want to retrieve his guns to put a bullet to his head, because there is nothing else he can do. 

A hand rests shakily on his shoulder before he makes a move though. He tenses and looks around, finding Nill standing there, eyes brimming with tears. She looks down at Badou and then at Haine and his outstretched hand longing for his guns before shaking her head furiously. Her grip on the albino tightens and she's pleading with her eyes, begging him not to do it. She's crying for Badou but the tears are also for Haine. Him and the possibility of losing him too. She keeps shaking her head no, crying in silence. Haine can't help but think they sure look odd, Nill grabbing at his jacket with her small hands and himself clutching Badou -he can't bring himself to call him a corpse- tightly as if his life depended on it. The smoker would laugh at him. He'd even be happy to hear the redhead laugh at him right now. But he isn't laughing and he won't hear him again and the thought of it makes Haine sick again. Kerberos has stayed surprisingly quiet, but the albino suspects he's just too pleased with himself to bother anyone, that bastard.

Nill's delicate hands are over his now, carefully prying away his fingers from the vicious grip he has on Badou. Haine is reluctant to but eventually he budges and lets his arms fall at his sides, Badou still resting against his body. The blonde angel is tugging at his sleeve, drawing his attention back to her. She makes a gesture with her arms, as if carrying something, then motions at the redhead. They should take him somewhere else. Haine agrees; he's not leaving Badou laying on the floor, he deserves better. A proper resting place. It's the least Haine can do for him now. So he gets up and takes the redhead in his arms, resisting the urge to clutch him close and scream. It won't do any good anymore. 

As Nill leads the way to the spare rooms, Haine tries to shake of the gnawing feeling that is starting to fill him. He's already taken Badou, what can stop him from killing someone else? What if it's Naoto or Bishop next time? Or -he falters and the sick feeling returns- if it's Nill? He's unstable, far more than usual, and while he knows he's needed, he can't stay. Haine is more of a threat than he's worth. He's a dog bound to bite those who take care of him. He rather put a bullet through his own skull than risk harming someone else and even while keeping in mind Nill's pleading look, this option is looking better by the minute. They reach the spare room Haine sometimes uses to sleep and as he settles down Badou on the small bed, he sees again the damned bracelet. A pang of guilt hits him and he half wishes Nill wasn't there so he could pull the trigger already, but her worried glances and the weight of the bracelet make the impulse subdue. The albino knows he's a ticking bomb, but at the same time feels obliged to stay, to protect them while he's able. Badou would give him hell if he decided to run, he's sure of that. Fuck, even Haine himself is feeling stupid for even thinking such thing. After all, he trusts Bishop enough to know that if he ever became a larger threat to any of them, he would take care of Haine. 

The albino still can't take the image of Badou's lifeless body, but the need to put a bullet between his eyes has watered down to its usual itch. Nill lingers next to him, both staring at the redhead. He'd seem asleep if it wasn't for the bloody gaps in his chest. It's a bit too much for Nill to see, Haine thinks, so he's quick to find a spare sheet and pull it over most of the smoker's body. Then, with his head bowed he murmurs to the angel to go look for Bishop. She nods once but hesitates by the door, unsure if it's a good idea to leave Haine alone right now. He turns to her and waves her away, reassuring her that he'll be alright (as alright he can be). And so she's gone, the sound of her footsteps fading away, leaving the albino to his own thoughts. The sick feeling is still there and the checkered bracelet almost feels heavy around his wrist, but Badou's voice keeps ringing in his ears telling him that it will help him remember what's important. He decides to stay while he's sane, if only to make Badou's (stupid, so stupid, why did he had to) death at least worthy. That's the least he can do for his partner now. 


End file.
